The post I've been waiting 3 years to write!

To actually be writing about the birth of our second son is surreal! I truly didn't know if I'd get to do this or not. So I couldn't be any more grateful.

(Although the entire story is very long and very detailed, I'm only going to write this short, condensed version to share publicly because the full story is too personal and still emotional for me to share.) 

Milo was a breech baby and even after a failed attempt to turn him, I figured a c-section for Anna was imminent. It was a weird feeling I had. I was really scared for Anna and sad that she'd have to go through that, especially recovery and whatnot. But on the other hand I was ok with it. It meant that we'd have an actual scheduled day to plan and be there a couple days before with Anna just like we hoped, plus it meant a safe delivery if he was still breech. Had she gone into labor naturally then it would have just been a waiting game until the last second until we could find a flight and get to Alaska, praying that we wouldn't miss the birth. So we were able to pick Milo's birthday, plan our travel and stay, and get things ready to meet Anna. 

We flew out and arrived in Anchorage on Mother's Day. Anna and her parents picked us up from the airport and we spent the next 2 days traveling around Anchorage and getting to know each other. It was, again, such a weird feeling. I felt as if I knew Anna for so long and was comfortable being with her but yet so nervous and excited to finally be meeting her. 

The morning of May 12th, Anna and her parents picked us up and we headed to the hospital! The spirit was so strong that day. Just walking into the hospital I felt so peaceful and calm for Anna. I don't remember her saying if she was nervous or not but if she was she never let it show. Love radiated from us and it was so special. After checking in we headed to our hospital room where Anna's dad and Straton gave her a sweet blessing. We hugged and said our tearful good lucks and see you soons and she was off. 

Surgery prep time took a while so we knew it would be hours before we'd get to see him so we tried to settle in and calm our nerves and excitement (mine only grew by the hour). I couldn't eat or watch t.v. I could barely focus on writing texts to my family. I was starting to go crazy. By around 11:30 the nurse who was keeping us updated had let us know that they were going to be starting soon and she'd let us know when he was here. Every time I'd see a shadow walk past our door my heart would stop. Finally, 12:30 rolled around and the nurse let us know that baby boy was born and doing fine and so was Anna and she'd give me more details when she could. A huge layer of relief flew off my shoulders!! He was here, healthy and everything went OK. Next the nurse brought in Anna's dad who happily told us that baby boy was 8 pounds 3 ounces, 21 1/4 inches born at 12:27! I could feel Milo in that hospital! I wanted to hold his little body to my chest so badly and could hardly wait to meet him. We were so excited! I wanted to run down to Anna and give her a high-five! She did it! 

Anna got moved to recovery where she got to hold and love Milo until she was ready for us to meet him. Our nurse said Anna was ready and that she would go get him for us. I never paced or tapped my feet so much. I could see my heart beating through my sweater, it almost hurt. Finally the nurse came in, asked if we were ready to meet our son, grabbed our camera and waited for him to be wheeled in through our door. When his little cart came in I lost it. I couldn't even see him in his bundle of blankets but he was here! I felt him just like when he was born but so much stronger! He was feet away from me and ready to be in my arms. Even now, writing this part of the story brings so many tears to my eyes. The love I had for him in that moment was bursting from me. Then I saw his sweet little face for the first time. All I wanted to do was learn every feature and detail of it. He was so beautiful. I picked him up and held him tightly to my chest. I could have lived in that moment. As tears fell from my eyes I felt so different. A good different. I felt like a mom again. I had two boys. Two beautiful, healthy boys! We were so incredibly blessed. He was supposed to find us.

The next couple of hours we spent doing skin-to-skin, loving, staring and calling all our family. Then we got you ready and headed down the hall to see Anna. Together we all sat and talked, held you and loved you. For me it was almost easier to sit together in silence. It just felt like nothing needed to be said because you were here and I didn't want to interrupt the peacefulness of your presence. You were so perfect. We loved Anna so much. There was no gift, no words that could express our gratitude to her and her decision. She chose adoption! What a courageous, selfless decision! It still completely blows my mind. She did it. And she chose us because she knew we were his family. It wasn't until a couple months later when Anna came to visit us that it REALLY hit me. I always felt it but I guess never gave it much thought or realized it so well that Anna and I were supposed to find each other. Milo was supposed to find us and to bring us all together. Maybe because that's how we needed to grow our family or she needed me or I needed her, I don't know. Maybe we haven't quite found the answer yet. But I truly believe that not only was Milo supposed to find us but Anna was as well. She was OUR birth mom.

We're so blessed we were able to adopt. It was a completely different experience than I EVER imagined. It was incredibly hard, incredibly sad, incredibly happy and incredibly scary but it was worth the journey. Milo will always be worth it!