Today was especially hard for me as a mother. Oak hasn't been listening whatsoever and is fighting me on every little thing. It's a constant battle of superiority with us. Since I was little I dreamt of the day I would become a mom. I so looked forward to that chapter. I never imagined it would be this difficult. I'm having an incredibly hard time connecting to my son. My sweet, innocent and kind hearted boy is in there somewhere but today I just gave up looking for him. I couldn't do it on my own anymore. So I hit my knees and asked for help. Guidance, patience, understanding, comfort, anything to get me through this day. And it wasn't even a minute after I had finished that I found Oak asleep in his own bed. I instantly felt a wave of comfort. A feeling of calmness. I could now catch my breath and regroup.
Today was an answered prayer and the opportunity to start over.